MARio WARS!
by Zeldafan422
Summary: It's Star Wars, MARIO STYLE! It's starring Luigi as Luke Skywalker. I own nothing. [Mild Violence]
1. Prologue

Star Wars Mario style!  
Cast:  
Luigi as Luke Skywalker  
Toadsworth as Toady One Kanobi  
Two Droids as R2-D2 and C3PO  
Mario as Han Solo  
Donkey Kong as Chewbacca the Wookiee  
Waluigi as Darth Vader  
Bowser Jr as The Emperor  
Yoshi as Yoda  
Bowser as Jabba the Hutt  
Princess Peach as Princess Leia

Prologue

R2-D2 and C3PO were walking through the ship when a Goomba broke down the door and began tossing mushrooms at them. "Oh my goodness. I cannot believe something like this would happen," C3PO said in a dumb voice. Darth Waluigi broke down the door and starting using the force to spank Rebel soldiers. "MEH HEH HEH! I like-a the spankings! I mean, where is Princess Peach?"  
Peach was putting a message into R2-D2 and said,"Lose this message and I'll umm do something...to you, yeah!" The two droids ran off to a small Mushroom Ship and crashlanded in Delfino Plaza. Darth Waluigi walked in and grabbed Peach.  
"You're coming with me!"

End Prologue


	2. Chapter One: Garage Sale

Author's Note: This story will be based on Episodes 4, 5, and 6. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Garage Sale

The two droids had crashlanded in the middle of Delfino Plaza. They stepped out of the wrecked ship, felling a little woozy from the crash. Pretty woozy. VERY woozy. They fell to the ground and blacked out.

The next thing they knew, they heard a voice say,"Garage sale! Garage sale! Two coolio droids up for sale, only $200 dollars each! First come first served!"

They looked up to see they were in Noki Bay, and that they were being sold at a garage sale.

"Oh my!" said the golden droid. "We must get out of here and back to Princess Peach!"

"Beep boop beep reeeeeeeeeearee!" went the little droid. Just after he spoke, a guy wearing a green hat and blue overalls walked over.

"Hey uncle!" he said. "Check these out! Can I have some money?"

"Sure whatever you little brat," his uncle said, and handed him two hundred dollars."Go crazy." The guy frowned at his uncle and handed the Noki his money.

"Oh my!"the gold droid said. "I believe we have just been sold!"

Once they were home, the guy in overalls said,"Hi! I'm Luigi Skywalker. I wish I could out of here and explore the Mushroom Kingdoom! This place is so boring!"

The golden droid replied, "I am C-3PO and this is my counterpart, R2-D2."

Luigi was trying to fix up R2-D2 from the crash, when suddenly he said, "MESSAGE ACTIVATED." An image of Princess Peach appeared on screen.

"Help me Toady One Kanobi, your'e my only hope. Help me Toady One Kanobi, your'e my only hope. Help me Toady One Kanobi, your'e my only hope."

"HOLY SNOT!" Luigi yelled. "Who is that? She is so...UGLY!"

"Help me Toady One Kanobi, your'e my only ho-"

"Will you stop saying that!" Luigi asked.

"No," Peach replied sarcastically. "Help me Toady One Kan-" Luigi shut the message off.

"Gosh," he said. "How annoying was that? Hmm..she said Toady One Kanobi...wonder if she means old Toadsworth...let's go look for him!"

So the odd trio set off toward Toadsworth's house. They were almost there when they were attacked by a pack of cannibal Delfinos.  
"Oh my!" Threepio yelled. "I'm too young to die!"

"Do you say anything else?" Luigi asked angrily.

It looked like all hope was lost as the Delfinos circled them. Then a very short hooded figure attacked with a Shinesaber attacked the cannibals and they scattered. They ran away screaming in fear.

"Are you Toady One Kanobi?" Luigi asked.

"Yes, I am."

End Chapter One


	3. Chapter Two: Toady Wan Kanobi

Chapter Two: Toady One Kanobi

"But," Luigi stammered. "Your'e just the old hobo Toadsworth, who lives up on Corona Mountain? I can't believe your'e alive. You must be soooooooo old!"

"Why I never!" Toady One Kanobi began. "Alright, I'm old. But I am a Jedi Master. Come with me." They began to walk back to the plaza.

"I haven't been called Toady One Kanobi since the Koopa Wars..." Toady said.

"You fought in the Clone Wars?" Luigi Skywalker asked and gaped at him with his mouth wide open. "Did you know my father? HUH! DIDYA DIDYA DIDYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

"SHUT UP YOU..." Toady took a few seconds to calm down. "Sorry," he said after he had composed himself. "It's just that, I haven't gone by the ways of a Jedi for years...Now to answer your stupid questions, yes I fought in the Clone Wars, and I did know your father. He was like a son to me.." Toady trailed off and Luigi thought he saw tears in his eyes.

"Why are you so sad? HUHH?" Luigi started. "OH MY GOSH! I know! My father died and you must be really sad because he was your son.." Luigi paused for a second and then gasped. "OH MY GOODNESS! This old geezer must be my grandpa!"

"Oh my," said Threepio. "I cannot believe one who fought in the Clone Wars is your father's father which he would be your grandfather, and his father-"

"SHUT UP!" Toady yelled again. "He was not my son. But I do know who killed your father. An evil jedi named Darth Waluigi betrayed the Jedi Knights and killed your father."

Luigi finally remembered why they had been looking for the old man. "Here," he said while pointing at R2-D2. "There is a message for you on this!" He pushed a button on the small droid and an image of Princess Peach appeared on the screen.

"Help me Toady One Kanobi, you're my only hope. Help me Toady One Kanobi, you're my only hope. Help me Toady One-"

"OH I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Luigi yelled and slammed his fist down on the small droid. The message shut off.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Toady One Kanobi began pacing back and forth ranting.

"WHAT!" Luigi asked franticlly. "Do you know her? Is she in trouble? What's happening?"

"That screen," Toady replied. "Has high definition and surround sound!" Luigi rolled his eyes at the odd Toad and said, "No, do you know that Princess?"

"No," Toady replied. "But I'm pretty sure she is in the Rebel alliance, because she knows my old Jedi name. Oh," The Toad added. "I was recently at your house after saving you from those mutant Piantas. And your aunt and uncle...are dead."

"Okay then," said Luigi with absolutely no emotion. "Well...where do we go now? How do we find this Princess?"

"The only place to find a ride to where she is captured," Toady One Kanobi said. "Is Rogueport."

End Chapter Two


	4. Chapter Three: Rogueport

Author's Note: Chapter Two was pretty short...my apologies. Chapter Three will be action packed and a lot longer. Yay action.

Chapter Three: Rogueport

Luigi Skywalker, Toady One Kanobi, and the two unimportant droids, were taking a very long hike to Rogueport. They had been walking for a very long time, and so far luckily had not gotten into any trouble.

"Man, oh, MAN," said Luigi. "How can we have not run into any bandits, or monsters, or anything like that. I used to hear tales about the road to Rogueport in Delfino Plaza. It was supposed to be filled with horrible creatures and people." Toady stopped and just stood there for a moment. Actually a moment or two, give or take. Okay, fine, he stood there for about four hours.

"Well, old man, are you going to say something or what! You've been standing there all day! We could've gotten there by now!"

Luigi yelled. He was very angry and tired from all the walking that they had been doing for the last couple days.  
Toadsworth opened his mouth as to answer, but from behind a tree, a Koopa Troopa jumped out and tackled C-3PO to the ground and began to beat him with a stick.

Toady finally spoke, "As much as I'd like to see this Koopa Troopa play Threepio the pinata boy, something's got to be done." He pulled out his Shinesaber and began to attack. The Toad gave the Koopa a fair beating, and after a little while, it hopped off the droid and ran off.

"Oh my!" said Threepio. "I am not feeling so very good..." The golden droid collapsed to the ground.  
"

Hey Skywalker, carry that bag 'o' bolts, will ya?" Luigi walked over to Threepio and lifted him up.

"Hey Toady," Luigi began. "I don't get it. We've been avoiding enemies for the last few days, and now we get attacked. Why?"

Toadsworth finally explained after standing and thinking for four hours. "It's all about using the force to force people to do stuff. Using the force I kept all bad creatures away from us. When I was thinking for a brief moment, I must not have been concentrating on it well enough..." He trailed off because they had finally reached Rogueport.

"I know a place where we can hitch a ride," he said. They walked over to a rough looking bar and went inside. A drunk creature walked up to the old man and said, "'Ey bud, what ya doin' in our joint? Guess I betta do summtin bout it!" He lunged at the Toad but he nimbly stepped aside. Once again he pulled out his Shinesaber. He swung at the green creature and clove him in two. The people in the bar stared at the Toad for a second but then went back to what they were doing. Guess murder was a pretty common thing for those guys.

Toady walked up to the bartender. "We're looking for someone who can give us a ride," he said.

"That would be me," he said. "He pulled his hat up so they could see his face. He had a mustache and was wearing a red hat with the letter M on it, and was also wearing blue overalls. "Name's Mario Solo. I can give you a ride. $10,000." Luigi opened his mouth wide and said, "Sorry dude, but-"

"Deal," Toady interupted and handed him the money.

"All right then old man, let's get going." He led them outside to an old rusty looking ship.

"WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK!" Luigi yelled.

"This baby can really fly," Solo said. Just then a hulking figure came walking out of the shadows. It was a giant koopa.

"SOLO!" it screamed. "You owe me money!"

"Sorry, Bowser the Hutt, but I don't got it yet. Wait til I give these folks a ride and-"

"ATTACK!" Bowser screamed, and a whole bunch of Koopa Troopas jumped out and started shooting at them. Toady One Kanobi pulled out his Shinesaber and began deflecting the shots back at them. Mario Solo pulled out his mushroom gun and began firing at Bowser the Hutt. He shot him in the foot. Bowser screamed in pain. Solo took advantage of the moment and charged at him. He kicked him in the gut and Bowser doubled over in pain.

"Sorry Huttso," he said. "Betta luck next time." He ran over to the ship and they all hopped in. Bowser the Hutt was about to black out, but he pulled out his mushroom gun and fired at R2-D2. His aim was true, and the little droid screamed in pain.  
Luigi laughed at the droid like a villian.

"You really take care of your little pets, don't you?" Mario Solo said. "Oh yeah," he added. "This is Donkey Kong the Wookiee. He'll be coming with us. He likes playing football."  
Donkey Kong the Wookie ran up to C-3PO and tackled him to the ground. He had really gotten beaten up today.

"Oh my..." he said.  
Their journey to rescue the princess had begun.

End Chapter Three


	5. Chapter Four: Think you've seen it all?

Author's Note: This is the second last chapter in Part 1. There will be Chapter Five and an Epilogue. After that, Part 2 and Part 3 will be coming. Now here's Chapter Four. Enjoy!

Part 1

Chapter Four: Just when you thought you've seen it all...

Mario Solo and Donkey Kong the Wookiee were piloting the Millenium WingCap when Luigi finally said, "When are we gonna get there? I've asked about twelve times? C'mon, loser, c'mon monkey boy I want some answers!" Solo suddenly snapped his fingers and DK jumped out of his chair and attacked. Luigi screamed as he was tackled to the ground.

"Safety!" Solo yelled and began laughing. Toady One Kanobi hit the button on his walking stick and it turned into a Shinesaber. He charged to attack the crazy monkey, who was still beating Luigi on the ground.  
Toady charged and screamed like a maniac which alerted Donkey Kong. The wookiee jumped to his feet and attacked the old man. The Toad screamed in pain as Donkey Kong began choking him. Luigi recovered and picked up Toady's fallen Shinesaber. He kicked the monkey to the ground, and pointed the Shinesaber at him.

"RAWRRRRRR!" DK screamed and began kicking at Luigi. Skywalker acted quickly and pulled off his belt. He tied the monkey up and prepared to swing his Shinesaber at him.

"No, please," Solo begged. "Don't kill him. He's the only friend I'll ever have. Let him go."

"Is your guard dog under control?"

"Let him go," he said calmly once again. Luigi sliced through the Wookiee's ropes and Donkey Kong ran over to Solo while whimpering.

"Excellent, Skywalker," Toady said. "Your'e beginning to look like your father, when he was younger." Luigi and Toady smiled at each other for a moment. Okay, they're still doing. This is getting creepy.

"Uh, sorry to break up your little emotional moment, but we're here," Solo said. They all looked out to see a gigantic Death Star. They were all so amazed to see it, they were in some sort of trance.

"WHAT!" Solo yelled, breaking the trance. "We're being sucked in. They're gonna see us. We gotta jam the radar!"

"Raspberry or strawberry?" Luigi asked. (XD, Spaceballs!)

When they got sucked into the Death Star, they snuck out of their ship and attacked two Stormgoombas. Mario and Luigi put on their suits, and Toady One Kanobi snuck off to find Darth Waluigi.

Solo and Skywalker had been searching for a long time, and had finally found the Princess's cell.

"Any idea how to get in there, Cloudrunner?" Solo asked.

"It's Skysprinter," Luigi said. Wow. What a genuis. "I have been mastering a very difficult technique for a situation like this. It requires precise timing."

Luigi took a step back and kicked open the door.

"Idiot!" Solo shouted. They walked into the room to see Princess Peach.

"We're here to rescue you!" said Luigi. "Let's get out of here!" They were running down the hallway when they were getting shot at by a mob of Stormgoombas. They ran and jumped down into a vent. They landed in a whole bunch of garbage in a disgusting sewer.

"YEAH! ALL RIGHT! WOO HOO!" Luigi yelled out in victory and began jumping around like his favorite team had just won the Super Bowl.

"What's so great, kid?" Mario asked slightly angrily.

"FRENCH FRIES!" He held up what appeared to be a two week old large box of McDonald's french fries, with flies zooming around it. Then they heard a noise.

"I got a bad feeling about this," Peach said. The walls began to close in on them.

"Threepio come in!" Luigi yelled into the speaker as the others tried to the stop the walls. "What do you need, Master Luigi?" Luigi yelled back, "Shut everything down, we're gonna die!"

Threepio yelled at R2-D2, "Shut all the power down!" The little droid did it.

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YEAAAAHHHHHH!" Luigi began rejoicing.

"Mwahhahahaha!" laughed Threepio. "They're dead, mwahahaha!" He mistook the cries of joy for screaming out in pain.

"No we're okay!" Luigi yelled.

"Darn!"

Eventually they all met up near the Millenium WingCap and saw Toady One Kanobi dueling with Darth Waluigi.  
The Toad looked over at Luigi and smiled. Darth Waluigi took advantage of the moment and swung at the old man...and struck him down.  
"NOOOOOOOOO!"

End Chapter Four


	6. Chapter Five: The Attack

Author's Note: This will be the end of Part 1. Part Two will be right after this.

Chapter Five: The Attack

After our (odd) heroes had escaped from the Death Star, the rescued Princess Peach guided them to the Rebel alliance. There they found out that Peach was one of the rebel leaders, and they were planning to take out the Empire's Death Star.

One of the leaders said, "Okay everyone, we need all able bodied pilots to attack the Death's Star's weakest point. This will be a crushing blow to the Empire, and everyone may finally be free! Now come up to this sign up sheet!" Everyone cheered and ran up to sign up. Luigi was going with them, he was a pretty good pilot.

"Don't tell me your'e going to sign up with those loonys on some galactic goose chase to "save the known galaxy." Solo scoffed at him.

Luigi frowned and boldy said, "I have to, it might be the only way to get rid of the Empire once and for all!" Mario Solo rolled his eyes and headed to the Millenium Wingcap.

He had some last words for Luigi Skywalker though, "Hey kid!" he shouted. Luigi turned around. "May the force be with you."

"Really? You mean it?" Luigi questioned.

"Yeah, right!" Solo walked away and began laughing loudly. Luigi frowned and headed to an Arwing. He hopped into it headfirst and got stuck.

"Need some help?" Peach asked.

"Please," Luigi responded. Peach pulled at his legs and helped Luigi straighten out. He was really embarrassed and just nodded his thanks. She winked and him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Luigi's face turned scarlet and he quickly put his helmet on and waved goodbye.

Now to buisness. He started the Arwing and pulled out of the docking area with everyone else to head off to the Death Star, hopefully to crush the Empire's iron fist. They set off at hyperspeed as everyone cheered once again.

When the Death Star was in sight, everyone got their missles ready. Little did they know, the Empire was ready for the Rebel attack and shooters came out of the Death Star. Darth Waluigi was inside the Death Star and hit the fire button. Missles fired out of the death star at the Arwings. All of the Rebel attackers had exploded and died.

Kidding. The Death Star fired at the Arwings, as they seperated. The pilots barely veered out of the way, some of them getting hit.

"LET'S GO!" Luigi shouted. They sped their Arwing's up and headed for the Death Star's only weak point. Darth Waluigi wasn't about to let all the Empire's hard work and construction be for nothing. He and a few Stormgoombas hopped into ships and headed off to attack the Arwings.

Darth Waluigi was once the greatest flier in the galaxy. He planned to keep that reputation. He began shooting down Rebel pilots left and right. A couple times he fired at Luigi, but Luigi was a very good pilot, and steered out of the way, still heading toward the weak point. He was almost there when Darth Waluigi appeared right behind him.

"I have you now!" Darth Waluigi yelled, and was about to fire when he was hit from behind.

"Need some help, kid?" came a familiar voice. Luigi turned around to see Mario Solo and Donkey Kong in the Millenium Wingcap.

"I thought you didn't care about me!" Luigi shouted.

"Not really!" came Solo's reply. "But your'e the only one who can hook me up with the princess!"

Luigi frowned and suddenly looked ahead. He was about to crash into the Death Star.

"Use the force, Luke."  
Luigi closed his eyes and fired, and the Death Star was destroyed.

End Chapter Five


	7. End Part I

**EPILOGUE**

There was a big ceremony held for the three heroes and the unimportant droids. Solo, Luigi Skywalker, and Donkey Kong, each got a medal. R2-D2 and Threepio each got a piece of toffee.

"Now can you hook me up with Peach?"

**End Part 1**

**Part 2: Prologue**

Luigi was riding through the cold, snowcovered fields, on the ice planet of Hoth. _Yeah, Mario Solo and Princess Peach told him not to leave the Rebel base, but so what? He had just gone to get a little fresh air.  
_"I better get back to the base now," Luigi said to himself and turned around to head back. He felt a huge pain coming from the top of his head and he tasted blood. He fell off his horse and blacked out.

**End Prologue**

_R&R! -ZF422_


	8. Part II: Chapter One: Trouble On Hoth

_I hope you all liked Part One. I'm pretty sure Part Two will be better. R&R!_

**Part Two  
**  
**Chapter One: Trouble on Hoth**

Luigi woke up to find himself dangling upside down. He looked around to see he was in a big ice cave, and a giant, furry, white snow monster, was coming closer to him. The monster began to quicken his pace, and eventually was sprinting full force at him. Luigi closed his eyes, and prepared for pain, but it didn't come. He opened one of his eyes halfway and saw that the snow monster had turned around to head outside.

Now was his chance to escape.

Luigi began thinking madly as to how to get out of there, when he suddenly, a plan popped into his head: Somehow untie himself, get the heck out of the cave, sneak past the snow monster without being caught, then get back to the Rebel base, without a horse through the storms. Simple, eh?

Luigi used the force to summon his Shinesaber from his belt, and used the Shinesaber to cut through the ropes. Luigi hit the ground with a very loud noise. He began to run out of the ice cave, hoping and praying that the big snow monster hadn't heard him.

He ran out of the cave to see...the snow monster. Wow, was Luigi a lucky guy or what? The monster charge at him, ready to eat some dinner. Luigi was ready this time, and pulled out his Shinesaber. He stepped aside swiftly as the monster lunged at him, and began taking revenge for what the monster had done to him. Luigi began hitting the monster with his Shinesaber like crazy. But the monster didn't seem to be hurt too badly by Luigi's attacks, and became angry as heck. He charged and began throwing his fists at Luigi, barely dodging out of the way. He eventually hit him square in the face, and Luigi began to fall forward. He wasn't about to let the snow monster eat him though. So as he was falling to the ground, he stabbed the monster in the chest.

The monster screamed in pain, and fell with a roar. Luigi heard one last thing before blacking out. "Hey kid, you should listen to me more often, eh?"

Luigi woke up to see the face of Princess Peach.

"Oh Luigi," she said. "You had me SO worried. If Mario Solo hadn't been out there to rescue you, you could have- you have to always listen to us! Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Luigi responded. Peach walked out of the room, and a little while later, Mario Solo came in and said, "Hey kid, there's a Rebel meeting going on right now, your'e supposed to go to it." Luigi hopped off the bed and followed Solo to the meeting room.

There was a guy sitting down, who said, "The Empire has finally found our secret base on Hoth. They are planning to attack very soon, with full force."

Everybody in the room was shocked, and began screaming.

"Oh no! The Emperor!"

"My whole family lives here!"

"I'm too young to die!" Everyone quieted to look at the last person who had spoken. He looked to be a man of about ninety years old. His face turned dark purple in embarrassment, and he sat down.

"Don't worry everyone, the Emperor won't be coming. I suggest the elderly, the women, and the children, must leave now. There isn't much time-" He stopped as a loud noise came from outside.

The attack had begun.

End Chapter One


	9. Chapter Two: Heading to Dagobah

_This chapter isn't very funny, but it is vital to the story I guess. Bear with me for upcoming chapters filled with fun stuff. o0_

**Chapter Two: Heading To Dagobah**

Everybody scrambled to get on a plane off Hoth, so they wouldn't be caught in the middle of the battle. Starfighters hopped in Arwings, Rebel soldiers put on helmets, and grabbed mushroom guns. Mario Solo led Princess Leia, Donkey Kong, and the droids to the Millenium WingCap.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Peach asked Luigi, for Luigi was going to get in an Arwing and fight the Empire's forces.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Luigi said, and ran off to the plane. Everybody prepared to get the Arwings going fast, and they did. They flew out of the base to see giant machines, and countless Stormgoobas, fully armed.

The Rebel soldiers attacked the Stormgoombas. The battle raged on. Many Arwings were being shot down by the giant robots. The Empire was slowly winning the battle. Luigi realized something had to be done to stop them. (Luigi didn't catch on quick)

He grabbed some heavy duty Silly String, and attached it on the tail of the Arwing. He flew around the robots, and the fell to the ground. The battle was won.

Luigi had a vision of Toady One Kanobi: "Head to Yoshi, the Jedi Master, he will teach you the ways of the force. Do not give into anger. Bla bla bla bla." A vision of the planet Yoshi was on flashed in the vision, then it disapeared. Luigi input the coordinates in his Arwing, and began to fly away.

He was off to see Yoshi.

"Beeeeeeeeeeeebooboobop beep!" R2-D2 called from the back of the ship.  
"We're nearly there!" Luigi yelled. And he was exactly right. They crashlanded into the swamp and the Arwing sunk. Luigi and R2-D2 drowned. THE END.

Yeah, right. (Okay I really need to stop with the fake endings) The front of the Arwing got stuck in swamp waters as Luigi grabbed R2-D2 and hopped out. He saw a small, rough looking hut, and headed over to it. He knocked on the door politely. The door opened and a little green dino head poked out.

"I'm looking for Jedi Master Yoshi," Luigi said.

"Yoshi am I," he said. "Train you I will."

"Why do you talk like that?" Luigi asked.

"I dunno," Yoshi said. "I'm bored. Or should I say, 'Bored, am I.'"

They headed outside as Yoshi said, "Begin now, the training will."  
Luigi expected some awesome Shinesaber training, and a whole ton of fun.

BOY, was he wrong.

**Ended has, Chapter Two. **(Oh I'm good)


	10. Chapter Three: Boring, Useless Tasks 101

Chapter Three: Boring and Useless Tasks 101

Mario Solo and the gang (which includes Princess Peach, Donkey Kong the Wookie, and C-3PO, you know, the very unimportant golden droid) had barely escaped the wrath of the Empire's forces. It happened when Darth Waluigi and the Stormgoombas had broken into the Rebel base, capturing the Rebels one by one. Quickly, Solo and DK had rounded them up, and took them to the Millenium Wing Cap. Solo had immediately started the engines and flew off into space.

They were currently being pursued by Darth Waluigi, and could not afford to be captured by the Empire.

"I know a place where we can go!" Solo spoke up.

"Oh my! You do?" Threepio asked.

"Yeah," Solo shot. "I do. And stop saying 'Oh my!' all the time. Listen, I've been to this place before called Cloud City. It's a floating city up in the sky, no kidding. With a couple fancy manuevers, I think we can shake off Waluigi, and get to safety. Any questions?" He looked around to see everyone nodding, and Donkey Kong as usual roaring.

"Then let's go!"

"Young Skywalker, training hard, you have not been," Yoshi said.

Luigi groaned as he had heard the dinosaur say that like ten times over that day. Yoshi had been asking many insane, and difficult tasks from Luigi for a couple of days. Things like, climbing ever shrinking trees, filling ever draining tubs with water, and more useless things.

"Master Yoshi, why do you have me doing tasks like these?" Luigi asked, slightly angry. Hey, you would have been angry too, if a green dinosaur starting making you do impossible things. "I don't think I've been learning absolutely anything!"

"Wrong, you are!" Yoshi said pretty loudly. "Teaching you must, these tasks have! The force you must use, as confront Waluigi you must do! Incredible powers, the force has!"

Luigi thought about all this for a moment, than finally spoke up. "So can the force be used to like, predict the future and stuff, to see things, that are going on in other places?" Yoshi nodded his head.

Luigi started thinking really hard about all this. He thought of peanut butter. (Why peanut butter you ask? Because Luigi likes peanut butter..o0)

Suddenly he saw an image. It was Mario Solo, and he was in terrible pain. He saw Princess Peach upset, and Threepio saying "Oh my!" (Surprise, surprise!)and DK roaring...

"Mario, he's hurt! I've got to save him!" he yelled.

"Save him, you can't. Complete the training, you must!"  
Luigi gave him the finger and jumped in the ship.

**End Chapter Three**

_Moral of the Story: Never flip a Jedi Master off._

_Oh, and next chapter will be longer and funnier. It's a promise._


	11. Chapter Four: Longer and Funnier Chapter

Chapter Four: The Funnier and Longer Chapter (as promised )

Mario Solo, and the gang had finally reached Cloud City. Peach closed her eyes, preparing to open them, and seeing a fabulous city from the future.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

The city was absolutely polluted, the birds were mauling each other, and the city was being supported by gelatin brand gelatin at the bottom.

"Boy this place has really gone to the dumps! This place looks like your house, Donkey Kong." Mario Solo said as he parked the ship, and recieved a growl from the Wookie.Donkey Kong the wookiee ran down to the edge of the city and began eating all the gelatin like crazy.

"No, you deranged monkey!" Solo screamed. "If you do that, the whole city will crumble to the ground and we'll all die!"

Donkey Kong grumbled in anger, and stopped eating, but grabbed one more piece of gelatin. Then suddenly a man ran up to Solo and grabbed him, pretending to attack him. Peach gasped in shock, but then the man began laughing and put his arm around Mario and began laughing.

"It's been a while, Dood," Mario said happily, and the two friends laughed and began walking toward the city. "Guys, this is my good friend Dood. He's saved me from trouble more times than I can remember."  
"Yep, I'm so cool, I'm cooler than this piece of junk droid!"Dood said, and began laughing. Peach rolled her eyes than she, Donkey Kong, and Threepio, relunctantly followed Solo and the weird guy. (Dood..sorry I couldn't think of a better name XD)

Luigi Skywalker was flying through space faster than he had ever before.

"BeepboobooBEEP!" R2-D2 screamed, as Luigi made the Arwing go even faster.

"Sorry pal, but I have to save Peach and Mario! They could be in real danger right now!" He made the Arwing speed through space as fast as he could.

"And, this, my pretty lady,"Dood said. "Is where you'll be eating tonight." He opened the door and in there stood Darth Waluigi.

"MWEH HEH HEH!" he laughed. "Now I can give you spankings! And then you will all have to by the unpleasant bottom cream!" Mario Solo and Peach turned around to run, but they were surrounded by Stormgoombas. They put their hands up and prepared for the worst.

Luigi parked the Arwing on the base of Cloud City and hopped out, thinking that this was the dumbest city he had ever seen. He didn't wait for R2-D2, and began running toward the building.  
"BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!" the little droid yelled, which was droid language for some nasty swear words.

"No!" Peach was yelling. "You can't!"

"Mweh heh heh!" Waluigi laughed. "I'd rather give him multiple spankings, but this will be more efficient!"

Mario Solo grimaced, ready for what was coming. He was about to be frozen in mayonaise. Donkey Kong the wookiee roared at the top of his lungs, when the frozen block of mayonaise began coming down. The crazy monkey went into a rage, and began attacking all the Stormgoombas left and right.

**WARNING-FANS OF DONKEY KONG SHOULD SKIP THE NEXT PART**  
Darth Waluigi gave Donkey Kong forty-seven spankings, (yay random numbers!) then he picked him up and tossed him into a pit of boiling lava, instantly killing the crazy monkey.  
**OKAY DONKEY KONG FANS, YOU CAN READ NOW**

Right as Mario Solo was being frozen in mayonaise, Luigi Skywalker was running through the building. He ran into a room...and was face to face with Darth Waluigi. This guy really liked waiting in rooms and sneaking up on people. (No he is not a pervert.)

"Young Skywalker, come to the Dark Side, we get to spank people!" Waluigi yelled, as the two of them pulled out their Shinesabers and began fighting.

"I HATE YOU!" Luigi yelled. "You killed my father!"

"No, Luigi. I-am-your-father!"

"Are you serious?"

"Not really, I'm like your fourth cousin twice removed, or something like that." Waluigi swung with his Shinesaber...and cut Luigi's hand off.

Luigi screamed in pain...and fell into the void. He began sliding down and eventually landed in the gelatin, at the bottom of the city.

It seemed as all hope was lost for Luigi, when suddenly the Millenium WingCap rushed in and pulled him in.

He was safe.

For now. (Oh, the suspense!)

**End Chapter Four**

_R&R!_


	12. End Part II

**EPILOGUE**

Luigi's hand had been repaired and he was back to normal. Well, actually, he had to have a rubber hand for the rest of his life. He should've listened to Yoshi...

"Toadsworth," Luigi said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to.."

He stood up and went to stand with Princess Peach.

"We will rescue Mario Solo," he said. "And then, we will devour the mayonaise!"

**End Part Two**

_Yeah, yeah, the filler epilogue. Part 3, the final part, is coming soon._


	13. Part III: Chapter One: Bowser the Hutt

_Author's Note: Since that chapter was so short, here's some more.(Well it was theEpilogue, so yeah whatever)This is a chapter where a huge escape happens, a big fat guy eats pizza, and an author makes a mistake._ _The reason I am not taking it out is because I want you to try and find out what it is before the chapter is over. Enjoy!_

_-Zeldafan422_

**Part III**

**Chapter One: Bowser the Hutt Returns**

"Oh my!" Threepio yelled. "I cannot believe Master Luigi would actually make us do something as crazy as this!"

Luigi Skywalker had sent R2-D2 and C-3PO to Bowser the Hutt's palace, because that was where mayo-freezed Mario Solo was.

"Beepbeepboobooboop!" the little droid said, which meant 'Why the heck are we going to Pizza Hut?'

"Oh my, R2 you have it all wrong! We're going to-" Threepio stopped suddenly as he gasped. Bowser the Hutt's castle was enormous, and they were the two droids who had to go in there. Threepio walked up to the giant doors...and knocked.

Wow, they were on a dangerous mission and he still has time to be polite. After the droids waited for a while, the doors were finally opened, and they walked in.

After they had been escorted through the corridors, they were in the throne room for Bowser the Hutt. Threepio and R2 looked around the room to see many tables, big and small, with pizzas all over them.

"Beepbeepbeep!" said R2-D2, which meant, 'Toldja we were going to Pizza Hut!" Threepio silenced R2 by pressing a button on him, activating Luigi's message.

A hologram of Luigi Skywalker appeared, and began to speak, "Greetings, your chubne- I mean mightiness. I am willing to make you a bargain. You give me Mario Solo, and in return I offer you these two stupid, but willing droids."

"Oh my!" exclaimed Threepio.

"No," Bowser the Hutt said. "I will not give you Mario Solo. But I will keep these two droids as slaves." Threepio and R2 were taken away.

The next day, the doors of Bowser's castle broke open, as Luigi Skywalker charged in.

He ran up to Bowser and said, "Give me Mario Solo!" He paused for a second. "Oh and the umiportant droids too!"

"Never!" Bowser screamed, as his soldiers ran up and grabbed him. Then, two more soldiers came out, holding Princess Peach and Dood.

"Time for an execution!" Bowser the Hutt laughed. They were all led outside to see a floating ship, and they looked down in the desert to see a giant pit, where there was a monster. They saw two guards escorting a non mayo frozen Mario Solo with them.

"Now, you walk the plank!" Bowser yelled.

"Hey kid!" Solo said. "Now would be a really good time for a plan!"

Luigi suddenly pulled out his Shinesaber and took out three soldiers. Princess Peach suddenly wrapped her chains around Bowser the Hutt and choked him to death. Donkey Kong the Wookiee had piloted the Millenium Wing Cap and everyone hopped on.

They flew away, and they had rescued Mario Solo.

**End Chapter One**

* * *

_Didja catch it? Well the mistake is that I put Donkey Kong into that chapter after he had already been killed. My bad._

_Chapter Two is comin' soon!_


	14. Chapter Two: Tricked by an Old Green Guy

_Author's Note: Sorry, this chapter is freakishly short, and I don't like it very much. But there will be better and longer chapters coming soon. It's a promise._

* * *

**Chapter Two: Tricked by An Old Green Guy**

Once they were back at the Rebel base, Luigi headed for his Arwing. Since Mario Solo had been rescued, he had to finish his training with Yoshi, as he said he would. He gunned the Arwing's engine, and flew off, eager to become a master Jedi.

When he landed safely, he walked up to Yoshi's hut. He slowly opened the door, only to see the dinosaur coughing, while lying in bed.

"What's wrong?" Luigi asked.

"Old am I," Yoshi said and then coughed dramatically. "Over is my life."

"Don't say that!" said Luigi. "You're- you're-well...you're you! You can't just give me this garbage and drop dead!" Yoshi frowned and stared at Luigi, making sure that he knew, the old dinosaur just wasn't gonna make it.

"Master," Luigi began. "Darth Waluigi, is he really my cousin?" Yoshi opened his mouth as to answer, but then put his head down. "Well, is he?"

Yoshi's face looked very grim, but nevertheless he answered, "Your cousin, he is. Evil is he. Confront him, you must."

Luigi looked shocked and began yelling. "What? Are you out of your mind? Last time I saw him, I lost my hand. You're just so old, you're brain's probably like decomposing or rotting away, you know what-"

Yoshi suddenly interrupted him. "SILENT, YOU MUST BE!" Luigi shut his mouth and looked down in shame. "True enemy, the Emperor is he. Help Waluigi, you must. Die now, I will." Yoshi's head slowly fell and his arm went limp. Luigi began crying and ran out of the dinosaur's hut. Yoshi looked up to see if he was gone.

"Ha," he said to himself. "Gets them every time!" He laughed loudly.

Luigi Skwalker returned to the Rebel base and saw Mario Solo. "Hey kid," he said. "The Empire has constructed a new Death Star, near a planet. We gotta go their and turn the shield off. Are you with me?"

Luigi nodded his head and they headed to the Millenium Wing Cap, hopefully they would crush the Empire once and for all.

**End Chapter Two**


	15. Chapter Three: Little Furry Nuisances

_Author's Note: The one-day wait is over! The second last chapter is here! Don't weep, for there will still be a chapter after this and an Epilogue. Happy reading! _

ZELDAFAN422

_And I don't own anything._

* * *

**Chapter Three: Little Furry Nuisances**

Once they had reached the planet (or moon, or whatever it is), Luigi, Solo, and Peach hopped out. They had also brought some Rebel soldiers with them.

"Heads up," whispered Solo. "I think I hear something..." Just then five Stormgoombas jumped out from behind a tree and began shooting at them.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIII YAH!" Solo yelled, and began using all kinds of karate moves all over the Stormgoombas.

"What the heck?" Luigi said, as Mario continued to attack with rolling kicks and karate chops. Pretty soon he had dispatched the Goombas.

"Let's split up!" said Solo. "Peach, you go with the stupid kid."

"Hey!"

"I'll take the droids and the soldiers. Let's go!" Luigi and Peach headed out into the woods. They saw two motor sleds and hopped on.

After riding for a while, they realized they were being followed by two Stormgoombas, and Luigi began attacking with his Shinesaber. He knocked one of the Goombas out of control and he exploded.

One of the Goombas came up behind Peach and sent her flying off her sled.

"Hahahahahahaha!" Luigi laughed as Peach went flying away. He quickly got rid of the Goomba behind him and went to find Mario.

The princess came to and sat down on a log. She saw a little Diddy Kong walking around and pointing a spear at her.

"Um...hello," she said cheerfully. The little furry Diddy Kong wailed and hid.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you...well, maybe a little.."

"AHHHHH!" Diddy Kong screamed.

"Just kidding," she said while laughing, but then she heard a noise. A Stormgoomba jumped out and then Peach shot him. Peach put the little furry creature on her back and started walking.

"You stupid kid, you can't do anything right, I send you with the princess, for what, ten minutes and she's already lost or captured!"

"Who cares?" Luigi said. "But if you really want to I guess we can go look for her- WOAH!" As he, Solo, and the droids were walking, they had stepped on net traps and were hanging from the trees. Luigi pulled out his Shinesaber and sliced through the nets. He fell to the ground to see a whole circle of furry brown creatures pointing spears at them.

"Point that thing somewhere else you little fuzzball!" Solo yelled, and got prodded by a spear. "Ow!"

"Stop. Don't fight them, we'll just go with them!" Luigi said, and they followed the little "fuzzballs".

Once they reached the village of the fuzzballs, they saw Princess Peach sitting down and eating. They also saw all of them bowing down to Threepio.

"They think I am some kind of god," he said happily, and went to sit down on the throne. "Oh my! They said they're going to eat you!"

"Tell them if they don't let us go you'll use your magic powers on them," Luigi replied. Threepio told them what Luigi said, then he used the force and drowned one of the fuzzballs in the river. Luigi started laughing really loud and they let him and Solo go.

Later that night Luigi talked to Peach, and told him what Yoshi said in his mind.

"Peach," he started. "Darth Waluigi is my second cousin." Peach gasped. "That's not all. You are my sister." Peach gasped and thought, Oh my gosh, my brother is this dork.

"I have to go to Waluigi, I think there is some good in him."

"Be careful," Peach said. Like I care, she thought.

Luigi ran off to go to the Empire's base.

**End Chapter Three**

_New chapter coming soon!_


	16. Chapter Four: What the heck?

_Author's Note: It's here! The moment you've all been waiting for! The exciting conclusion to MAR(io) WARS!  
And so, we go.  
_

_ZELDAFAN422_

* * *

**Chapter Four: What the heck?**

"Hello cousin," he said as he was taken into custody by Darth Waluigi and the Stormgoombas.

"Meh heh heh!" Waluigi laughed. "Are you ready to join the mighty emperor cousin? We get donuts and coffee free every Wednesday. Plus you get to wear a cape. Girls dig the cape."

"No cousin, I know there is still some good in you! Please, together we can fight this big tough emperor and win and cousin and...cousin!" Luigi yelled and made a sincere smile that made Darth Waluigi shiver. What a dork, he thought.

"No," said Waluigi. "The Emperor will change your mind. Please, do it for me. And if not me...the donuts and coffee!" Waluigi headed into the ship that would take them to the Death Star as the Stormgoombas and Luigi followed.

Mario Solo, Peach, and the rest of them had gathered up the fuzzballs and were preparing to attack the base and shut down the Death Star. Stormgoombas jumped out of the bushes as giant droids began shooting at them. Out of the trees a legion of fuzzballs had hopped out and began picking off the Stormgoombas one by one. Things were looking up down by the base.

Doodand the rest of the Rebels were preparing to hop into Arwings and destroy the Death Star. They figured out that the Emperor himself was on the Star and that if they took the Death Star out, they would take the whole Empire with it. So Link jumped into the Arwing and led the Rebels to batte, and hopefully, victory.

Waluigi took Luigi into the Emperor's throne room. The Emperor's chair spun around and it looked like a mini Bowser the Hutt.

"What the heck? Bowser the Hutt shrunken form? And a spinny chair? And...coffffffeeeee" Luigi went into a coffee trance then snapped out of it.

"No, Young Skywalker," the Emperor replied. "I am the mighty Sith Lord Baby Bowser!"

Luigi looked confused then Baby Bowser replied, "Sith stands for Stupid Idiots Too Horrible. Like it?"

"No!" Luigi yelled. "And I bet my cousin doesn't either. Cause he is my cousin...and um he is really good..and he is your enemy, and he will fight you with me!" Baby Bowser looked over to see Waluigi shaking his head. Baby Bowser laughed and began telling Luigi how wonderful the Dark Side was, and how he gets free coffee and donuts, and how the Rebels would fail, and his friends would die, and how he gets free donuts and coffee, and how the Dark Side gets capes, and how he gets free donuts and coffee...

"STOP!" Luigi yelled and pulled out his Shinesaber. "Besides, you said donuts and coffee three times. Now DIE!" Luigi swung out at Baby Bowser and the instant before he made contact, Waluigi blocked the blow and they began to fight.

Mario Solo and Peach had made it into the Empire's base, and were in the control room.

"What the heck are we supposed to do?" Solo yelled. "What button are we supposed to push?" After he had spoken, an alarm went off blaring, INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT.

"Quick!" Solo yelled. "Push all the buttons!" They frantically hit every single button, and it said, Death Star Weakened.

"Go get em Dood," Solo said.

Link and the Rebel pilots were shooting madly at the Death Star. Suddenly the middle of the Death Star began to glow all lime green.

"That thing is operational?"Dood screamed, as the Death Star shot down one of the Rebel Arwings.

"Let's dood this!"Dood yelled. Wow, he's clever.

Luigi had become angrier and angrier as he and his cousin fought. His Shinesaber swings had become more intense by the minute. Eventually he had Waluigi on the ground barely blocking Luigi's moves. Luigi swung...and off came Waluigi's robot hand.

"Hahahahahahaha," Baby Bowser laughed. "Now young Skywalker, will you join me?"

"No!" Luigi yelled. "I am a Jedi, like my father- er cousin before me!"

"Very well...Jedi," he said while sneering. Baby Bowser ran up and grabbed Luigi with one hand, and with the other, began spanking him madly.

"AHHHHH!" Luigi screamed. "Cousin! PLEASE!"

"By the way, Waluigi!" BB yelled. "By failing to bring Luigi to the Dark Side, you no longer get free donuts and coffee every Wednesday!" Waluigi jumped up and began fighting with BB. After Baby Bowser gave Waluigi a Mega Spank 5000, Waluigi pushed Baby Bowser into the void, instantly killing him.

"Cousin," Luigi said. "Thank you for saving me."

"I didn't do it for you.." Waluigi barely voiced. "He wouldn't give me coffee or donuts.." Waluigi closed his eyes and was gone.

"Whatever," Luigi said, and hopped into one of the Empire's Arwing. He flew out of the Death Star, and the Death Star was instantly destroyed.

They had beaten the Empire. Sorta.

**End Part III**

_The final Epilogue is coming soon!_


	17. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

"So, Luigi, do you love him?" Solo asked Peach.

"Well, yes," Peach answered truthfully.

"Fine," Solo said sadly. "When he gets back I won't get in the way...well only a little..

"No!" Peach laughed. "He's my brother."

"WTF!" Mario said.

Luigi had made it back safely, and all of them and the fuzzballs had a party.

**THE END**

_Author's Acknowledgements  
The cape quote is from the Fairly OddParents.  
The PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS quote is from the beginning of Jak II. (great game)  
And my fans are awesome._


End file.
